'Tis The Season For Giving

I've finally figured out what I want for Christmas. Nevermind that I'm Jewish and don't celebrate the silly holiday. People keep asking me what I want or hope to get so I've been forced to come up with an answer. My goal was to come up with something so ridiculous that after hearing it people would stop, stare at me, shake their heads and walk away. Oh, and then maybe stop asking me, this year and every year after.

This idea came to me as I was walking up the stairs from the accounting department here at work. I was staring at the carpet on the stairs, thinking how old and drab it looked, when it hit me:

This year, for Christmas, I want four women. Two to walk in front of me sprinkling rose petals, and two to walk behind to clean them up so they may be re-used. I am nothing if I am not neat and enviromentally responsible. I would prefer an ethnic variety, perhaps Asian or African, but would realistically settle for any woman willing to do it. They will dress in gossamer gowns and wear fairy wings, and would be required to flit. They will not speak. If spoken to they will smile shyly, cover their mouths and turn away in a cloud of rose petals.

I can't wait for someone to ask me what I want for Christmas today.


M. PotPie