Crazy Ray (continued)

Tokie and I spent the rest of the day just sitting around, talking a little, trying to guess what was in the briefcase and why the limo was there. We sipped on the moonshine from time to time, napped a little bit and later that afternoon decided to search his garage and get together some tools we might need. Tokie didn't have much in the way of tools, but we did manage to scrape together a screwdriver, rubber mallet, an old hacksaw and a crowbar. There had been a question nagging at the back of my mind all day and I suddenly figured out what it was.

"Hey Tokie? Did you try to open the door to the limo?"

He stopped his rummaging and thought about it. "No Bunk, I didn't."

"Well why not?"

"Didn't think about it, I guess. 'Sides, I was so excited I just had to tell you guys about it. I didn't get back until real late though so I had to wait 'till this morning. I was up half the night."

I took this information in and chewed on it a while. I figured it wasn't all that important, it was Tokie after all, so I put it out of my mind. After putting together the tools we had a bit more 'shine and Tokie managed to make us a decent meal of squirrel and field greens. After dinner we had a little more to drink, had a smoke and decided to catch some sleep before Ray got back. I fell asleep quick, I always do, and I dreamed that I was in prison, reading a letter. The letter was from Ray and he was living in Mexico. There was a picture with the letter of him on a fishing boat, smiling and holding up his catch: A briefcase, with handcuffs.

A few hours later I woke up to the sound of a honking horn. I walked outside to find Ray standing up in the driver's seat of Starla's mustang smiling with his arms folded. Like a king on his steed, I thought. He had the music playing loud, some old Charlie Daniels tune that floated up and disappeared into the night air. Ray jumped out of the car and walked up to me and I could hear Tokie coming up behind me.

"Ray, you old son of a gun, how'd you get her car?" Tokie was laughing, clapping Ray on the arm and looking at the car.

"The how is not important, men, only the fact that I have it bears consideration."

I gave Ray a good look and smiled back at him. "Your love bite is showin'. And you've got some lipstick on your cheek. How, indeed." We laughed a bit and walked over to the picnic table which was lit up by the mustang's headlights. Ray looked over the tools we had gathered.

"Our implements of destruction. Is this all you guys could find?"

"Well Ray," I said "this is all we could find that seemed useful."

"Yeah." Tokie chimed in.

"I guess they'll have to do then. What do you say fella's, one more toast for the road?"

We had left the moonshine and jelly jars on the table. Mine had a dead fly in it so I shook it out. At least it died happy. Ray poured us all another shot.

"Gentlemen, I toast again to our friendship and would like to add good fortune, good luck and ease of travel." We drank, squinted and pursed again. Then we gathered up the tools, got in the car and drove off to the salvage yard.


(more tomorrow)

(Just kidding!)

The night was warm and the skies clear, so we had the top down and the music turned up. All three of us were smiling, joking around and generally having a good time. It's a relatively short drive to the yard, but we drove the speed limit all the way to avoid drawing attention, which seemed silly to me. How much more attention could three grown men in a pink convertible really draw in Alabama?

We passed the salvage yard driving slow to make sure no one was around. There were no lights on, so we figured the coast was clear and turned in one street up, coming around the back. We parked the car on the side of the road and Ray killed the lights and engine. He looked at both of us.

"You guys ready?" We both answered in the positive. "Ok then. Tokie, grab the tools." We got out of the car and walked over to the fence, which was only about twenty feet or so from the road. This was the same part of the fence we used to sneak in and out of as younger versions of ourselves. It hadn't been repaired once in the years we used to make a habit of coming here after dark, so it never occured to us that it might have been repaired since then. The moon was bright enough to see by, we didn't need flashlights, and as we walked up towards the fence we all saw it at the same time.

"See?! It's there! I told you guys it would be there!" Tokie exclaimed in a high-pitched whisper.

It was there alright, just as he said. Not a scratch on it that I could see. It sat there like a silent black hulk, kind of menacing. I looked at the tail lights and thought of red eyes, eyes that were hungry and eager for us to get closer. I don't really have much belief in hoo-doo and I'm not a superstitious guy, but something about this whole thing sure rubbed me the wrong way and I said as much.

"Quit being an old lady, Bunk. Next you're gonna tell us you forgot your purse!" Tokie was all excited, giggling, being a bit too loud for my taste.

"You better shut it, Toke, or you're likely to get that beating anyway!" I was getting angry 'cause I was scared. Ray shut us up again.

"You two can it! Tokie, go on up and hold the fence for me and Bunk." As he said it we all looked to where the gap in the fence used to be. I say 'used to be'. Someone had repaired it in the last few years.

Ray spoke up. "Well this certainly does not fit in my plans...and it would appear we don't have anything capable of cutting through the fence. Gentlemen, I would say our only alternative is to go over this barrier instead."

I had been hoping he'd say our only alternative was to leave, but I guess that wasn't meant to be. The fence was about ten feet high, not including three strands of old rusty barbed wire across the top. Ray walked back to the car, opened the trunk and pulled out an old towel, which he brought back over. Putting the towel over his shoulder he jumped on the fence and climbed up 'till he was level. Then he put the towel over the barbed wire and climbed over, dropping down on the other side.

"Throw the tools over, Tokie." We had put the tools in an old gym bag. Tokie through them over the fence and they landed with a thud. "Alright, you guys climb on over now." We did as he said, and soon enough all three of us were standing by the driver's door of the limo. On the front seat, barely discernible even with the bright moonlight, was the briefcase and handcuffs. Ray put the bag of tools down, unzipped it and brought out the crowbar. "Well, no need to mess around, let's get that case and get out of here. I thought this was a good time to speak up.

"Say Ray, umm, Tokie never tried the door." Ray lowered the crowbar and his shoulders slumped a little. He gave a glance to Tokie who just shrugged his shoulders in response. Reaching out Ray grabbed the door handle and gave it a tug.

Now, I've heard some loud car alarms in my time but man, this one took the cake. There was a siren wailing, some kind of loud buzzing, the lights were flashing and it scared us half to death. We all jumped back a few feet and looked at one another. Tokie was looking scared, mumbling something I couldn't hear over the alarm and Ray was looking plain angry. He picked the crowbar back up, smashed that window to pieces, reached inside and grabbed the briefcase. Tokie was talking louder, almost yelling now, but I still couldn't understand. Ray and I looked at him, trying to understand. Tokie stopped yelling, pointed off in the distance and started running. I heard Ray yell "Oh shit! Run, Bunk, run!"

I don't normally mind dogs. I've had a few in my life and they've been, for the most parts, good pets. But I'll tell you, the beast that was barreling down on us was no pet, no way, no how. Tokie had already reached the fence and was climbing as we ran. I got to the fence before Ray and started climbing as Tokie dropped to the other side. It took Ray just a bit longer to get there, he never could run the same after losing both big toes. I dropped to the other side of the fence and turned to watch Ray jump up and start climbing. That dog, what looked to be about a hundred pounds of fangs and dirty brown fur was barking, throwing spit and just about on Ray's ass. Ray got to the top and was about to put one leg over the barbed wire when the dog hit the fence.

What happened next has been seared into my brain with a white-hot iron. I will never, ever forget it and still wake up sometimes from a nightmare about it. If Ray hadn't been holding on to that damned briefcase he may have kept his balance. But as it was, when that big old dog hit the fence Ray lost his balance and fell backwards. That wasn't the worst of it. No, the worst of it was that the foot he was putting over the barbed wire got caught up and twisted in it, so Ray ended up hanging upside down by one foot over the wrong side of the fence. The one with the dog, who started jumping up and biting at him.

Tokie and I ran to the fence and starting yelling at the dog, banging the fence, trying to scare it off. I looked for a rock to throw but couldn't find one. Ray was swinging the briefcase at the dog, trying to defend himself, but I guess his three-fingered grip slipped 'cause he dropped the briefcase. The dog ignored it and started jumping at him again. All this time the car alarm was still going off and I had visions of the cops pulling up and arresting everybody. I screamed then.

"Fuck this!" I started climbing the fence when I heard Ray give out a scream. I looked down and saw blood...a lot of blood... all over his head and face, all over the dog's mouth.

"That motherfucker bit my ear off!"

I reached the top of the fence and tried to pull Ray up, the dog still jumping and biting at him. As I was pulling him up that bastard of a dog gave one last leap and latched on to Ray. Right on to his bottom lip. We were both almost pulled right back down, but something gave and I was able to get Ray up and over. We both crashed down into the grass and I just lay there for a minute, listening to the alarm, which was sounding more and more like a man screaming. Turns out it was Ray. The alarm had cut off. I looked up into a face from a horror movie, nothing but blood and torn flesh where his left hear and bottom lip used to be. I could see his teeth and gums...it looked...well it looked bad. Real bad. Tokie and I got him into Starla's mustang, I gave him my shirt to stop the bleeding as best he could and we drove him to the hospital in Wetumpka.

Ray had plastic surgery to fix his face up and it was a long time before I saw him again. Starla kicked him out for getting blood all over her seats and I honestly don't know where he stayed after that. Tokie and I see each other now and again, but the three of us haven't been together since that night. I went back to the salvage yard a couple weeks later, but the limo was gone. So was the briefcase.

I wonder what was in it?


M. PotPie