A Diagnosis?
I think I may have a problem. I'm not sure what this problem is, but I am sure that it exists. It could be a disease, it could be a mental disorder, it could be a broken bone. Actually I'm pretty sure it's not a broken bone. I mean, how stupid would I have to be to not to know that? Ha ha!
So we're left with a disease or mental disorder. Let's look at the symptoms, shall we? We shall!
1) Constant, paralyzing paranoia
2) Copious drooling
3) Leakage
4) Extra digits
5) Pus. Lots and lots of pus
6) Superiority Complex
7) Sore throat
8) A general malaise
9) An odor of burned butter
10) An urge to sing everything I'm going to say
11) Chronic, excessive masturbation
12) Long yellow toenails
13) Bleeding gums
14) Headache
15) Gas
Frankly, I'm at a loss. Could be something, could be nothing, right? Right. I guess I'll just ignore it and hope it goes away.
M. PotPie
posted by Monkeypotpie @ 9:31 AM
6 Comments:
Sounds like it could be a combination disease/mental disorder. I suggest that you call a doctor, a shrink or a medicine man. If they cannot figure out the problem, you can all go out drinking.
I had a good idea about what you had until the smelling like burning butter.
Sounds like a little bit of everything and then some. But most of them sound like natural side effects to life.
When you put your combined “issues” into WebMD you get:
Flu and/or common cold with syphilis and/or cuts or bruising of appendages with severe or no panic disorder and mildly schizoaffective disorder.
I hope that straightens things out.
snav- That sounds like the beginning to a joke: A doctor, a shrink and a medicine man walk into a bar....
AP- What kind of life do you live?
mkd- Yes it does not.
chicken- Care to help a guy out?
No no, I have a clipper. So...pencil me in for sixish? That would seem to be a good time for clipping.
Trick question... the answer is actually that you are in fact Gary Busey.
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