A Break From the Sex

Yeah, there's three more days worth to tell, but I have to do this at work and it becomes distracting. So today, something different.

I had a nice conversation with my liver last night. I decided to take a break from self-medicating and drink water all day and night, and apparently this was just the opportunity my liver (whose name is Filter) was waiting for.

"(coughing) Dude... (coughing) oh my god, I am sooooo hung over."

"What? Who the fuck is that?"

"Holy shit...hold on...I'm gonna puke."

I suddenly taste bile. Blecch.

"Oh...shit...ok...whoooo. Man, it's about time you took a break."

"What the hell is going on here? Where are you?"

"Dude, I'm your liver. Call me Filter. You, my friend, need to slow down, you're straight up killing me."

"Huh?"

"You drink. A lot. Every day. If you don't slow down I'll die, and then you'll follow pretty quick. Hey, can you take an aspirin or something?"

"Umm...sure. Do you really think I drink too much?"

"Think? What's to think? I process all that shit, dude. What you drink, I drink. I'd wake up the kidneys but they're a bit waterlogged right now. You just go from one extreme to the other, don't you?"

"If you say so, I guess."

"Damn right I say so. Anyway, you need to cut back, maybe take a day off now and again. Or better yet, have you ever heard of fruit juice?"

"Well yeah, I just had some the other day. Lime-ade with cherry."

"And vodka. Don't forget the vodka."

"Right, with vodka."

"Kinda defeats the purpose, don't you think?"

"Look, this can't be happening. I must be having an acid flashback or something."

"No, this is no flashback, but it wouldn't surprise me if you did have one. Man, I'm surprised you didn't melt your brain a long time ago."

"I haven't taken acid in more than ten years. All I do now is smoke a little bit now and again. And drink."

"And that's what we're talking about, the drinking. Do us all a favor and cut back. I ain't saying quit, don't do that, but at least slow it down. Maybe instead of four or five drinks a night, maybe stop at two. Or none. Hey, how about none once in a while? Think you can do that, lushie?"

"Hey, there's no reason to be rude!"

"Right. Rude. Anyway, I've gotta crash. Think about what I said."

"Ok...Filter."

"Jack ass."

Anyway, that's pretty much how it went. So I guess I'm gonna cut back.


M. PotPie