There are times in your life when you have to make important decisions that have ramifications not only for you, but for everyone around you. They may not be life-or-death kinds of decisions, or even grievous-bodily-injury kinds of decisions, but certainly they can easily ruin your day. Or someone else's. Allow me to offer an example:

You work in an office, an enclosed space with poor circulation and questionable cleanliness. Your desk is located in the middle, the exact middle of a row of cubes. Everything you do, say or emit is sensed in some way by everyone surrounding you, whether they like it or not. In your own small way you are a sort of dictator, forcing yourself on unwilling subjects and leaving them to deal with the aftermath of your decisions.

Today, you have decided to wear cologne. A lot of cologne. So much, in fact, that you could be considered a bio-hazard and would not be allowed in a hospital. Plants wilt when you come near. Innocent children choke and tell their mothers, crying "Mommy, my nose hurts!" Dogs whine and run, tails between their legs, retching. But your co-workers? They are forced to endure, to go on, to suffer needlessly. Forced to refrain from commenting lest they hurt your feelings and cause strife in the close-knit office community. You assault them with your scent, your stench, your 'Odeur des mille décès'...and you do not care or even notice.

Murder is being considered. Or a forced bath. Influential leaders in the office are lobbying for you to be given an extra day of vacation, just for today. People are willingly sacrificing days off because you reek.

Please go away. Please. I am dying.......


M. PotPie