I know it has been some time since my last blog, children, but dry your eyes and quiet your cries; I have returned. The tale of my absence is a strange one, full of mystery and intrigue, danger and excitement, and I will relay as many details as I can in the short time I have.I was kidnapped.Please! Hold your tongues! There will be time for questions later, perhaps, but now is the time for listening.Yes, I was kidnapped. I was abducted by a savage brunette who seemed bent on my moral destruction. I was subjected to such acts of depravity...I shudder to think of them now (though truth be told they excite me as well). As you know I went on vacation. Where is not important; I go where I please and vacation in private. As it was I was wandering the city, admiring the sights and enjoying the people when I first saw her. She was sitting by a fountain feeding the pigeons. At least that's what I thought she was doing. This rather striking brunette, dressed entirely in scarlet, was luring pigeons to her with bits of bread and popcorn, cooing to them and speaking sweetly. Her voice was melodious and very pleasant to the ear, provided you didn't understand what she was saying, which I didn't. I know not what language she was speaking, but underneath the sugary encouragement she gave to the birds was something else...an undercurrent of violence. Indeed, when one of the poor pigeons wandered too close her hand shot out like a viper and the unfortunate bird disappeared, shoved into a cardboard box sitting next to her shapely legs. Friends, I have no idea how many birds were in that box, but I can tell you that none made it out alive.I watched this activity for some time, how long I'm not sure, but long enough for her to take notice and look in my direction. I tried to quickly avert my gaze, but surely she knew I was staring, so I looked up...and beheld an angelic smile framed by a mass of brunette hair, wavy and wild. She held my gaze...or I held hers...for what was certainly only a few moments but felt like ages. Still smiling sweetly (savagely) she picked up the box of pigeons and set it in the fountain. The box must have been weighed down for it did not rise. I started forward and made to protest but she stopped me with a glance (glare) and held a single finger to her lips. I was held fast as if paralyzed. Was this witchcraft? My mind was reeling, my heart crying out to the birds that were trapped in the box under the cold water of the fountain, but still I could make no move. I'd like to tell you I saved the birds...or even made a courageous effort, but I cannot lie to you, my friends. I'd like to tell you that I alerted the authorities, or was at least able to cry out and draw attention to her actions, which no one else in the park seemed to notice or care about, but that too would be a lie. No. I stood there helpless and impotent as the poor, innocent creatures drowned.

(To be continued)


M. PotPie